Thursday, February 26, 2009

Marriage Principle #1: Building a Detailed Love Map

The marriage book chapter from last week was dealing with principle 1: "Enhancing Your Love Map". The chapter states the importance of having intimate and detailed knowledge of your spouse's life. A large portion of my mental hard drive should be filled with the Kara folder, knowing the cursory things (e.g favorite music, sports, vacations, etc.) and critical things (e.g. current stressors, fears, aspirations, etc.). A couple of things I learned specifically:
  1. Enhancing one's love map is principle #1 because it is foundational for relating to one's spouse effectively. It's like how in order to write effectively, one needs to know their audience. It certainly serves as a foundation for principle 2: "Nuture Your Fondness and Aspiration".
  2. Love maps need to continually be updated. This comes through the daily "how'd your day go?" talks and the regular dates. Actively updating the love map is important so that the habbit is established when more life changes come (e.g. children, moving, etc.).

We logged a lot of time in the car this past weekend as we rented a car and headed for Guanacaste, scouting potential places for our families to stay when they visit in July. Like all the chapters in this book, there were good excercises to do. They helped pass the time in the car. I am very impressed with how much Kara remembers about the past in general, and me specifically. She definitely has the better love map, and encourages me to make mine more detailed.

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