Monday, February 25, 2008

Lent '08 - Day 17: Lover or Hireling?

This morning I was reading some excerpts from Theologia Germanica, and there was a line in particular that stood out to me: “For a love of God is better and more pleasing to God than a hundred thousand hirelings.” I’m not sure if this is true as I have not thought through all the implications of this statement, but while reading, I operated under the assumption that it was. It got me to look inside at my heart and search for love of God. I may seek to be obedient, but that doesn’t answer the question of whether I’m a hireling or one whose heart truly longs for God. Internally, I feel very tired. I move from one thing to the next, but less and less frequently do I feel alive. Life with God can feel like I’m clocking in each day, but it’s not out of love. This disturbs me. I really want to be someone who operates out of love. I want to get Christ when he says to abide in his love. At this point, I don’t know what I all I have to do to have my heart straightened out. At the very least, I must continue to wake each morning, surrender, and ask he who is able to go to work.

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